10 BeliefsThat Keep You From Succeeding

Once you identify these negative beliefs and eradicate them, your opportunity to be successful will greatly improve.

What is a negative belief? I like to use the acronym BS to break down how I view a system of beliefs that do not serve your success goals. (Belief Systems=BS). A belief is simply a thought that has been thought so much that you have an emotional tie to it.  If I think I’m ugly every day, and have an emotional tie to that thought, it will become a belief. Does that mean that my belief is correct? No. It’s BS. Someone else might think I’m pretty and that is their BS.

“But Crystal, how do we know who’s right in their BS?” I’ll go into BS in another blog, but for now here is something that will help you tell the difference. Truth is something that brings a sense of peace and solidity in the midst of a chaotic world filled with BS. Truth is not charged with negative emotion, instead it gives you strength, courage, and determination.

What I want you to know about your BS for now though is that you can’t fool anyone with them.  Your belief systems show up in everything you do, whether you want them to or not.  It is like the food you eat.  You can eat privately, but the food you choose to eat will show up on your body.  Just like your private belief systems, they will show up in your life. You can tell who takes care of themselves.  You can see someone’s BS if you watch how they live life.

Here are some common negative beliefs that can severely ruin your success. If you can get rid of this BS, you’ll be steps closer to attaining your goals.

1.       “Someone’s already thought of it, or is doing it.”  How many people are in this world? And you think you have to be the only one with the idea in order to execute it? The difference between you and everyone else is YOU!  So what if someone else “stole” your big idea? No one will do it the way that you do it. I used to be so intimidated by a certain female life coach who seemed to be living the life I wanted. Watching her grow made me feel like I was losing some sort of race to success. That was until I read Girl Code by Cara Alwill Leyba, who wrote these magic words:“Her success is not your failure.” The only reason I was intimidated was because I wasn’t going after my dream to be a life coach. Once I got the ball rolling, and took action, it was easy for me to look at the other woman with appreciation. I chose to be inspired rather than jealous. Now I look forward to her posts because she’s showing me what’s possible. And the best part is, I’m working my coaching practice completely different than she is because no one is like me.  No one will do it the way YOU do it.

2.       “They won’t like me, listen to me, they won’t care about me.” There is a common belief that you are fundamentally damaged or flawed.  I work a lot with people in my practice regarding this negative BS. When you feel flawed to your core, you won’t allow yourself to be happy or successful and you will sabotage your chances every time. It’s a fear that you’ll never be good enough and something that would take more than just this little blog to solve. However, I will leave you with this advice; In this day in age, it is hard not to find people who won’t listen to you. I mean, look at all the weird people who do have a following! “You’re never too weird for the world”- Bossbabe Alex. There is an admirer for every artist, a reader for every writer, a listener for every speaker. Even though you might not feel good enough, realize that most people don’t. You don’t have to cover up who you are. You don’t have to be fake or inauthentic, be yourself and those who understand you will support you!

3.       “That’s too much, I could never afford it.” You may have reason to think this, however when you say “I could never afford it,” you don’t even give yourself a chance for an opportunity to have it. Let me tell you what you can’t afford. You can’t afford NOT to make a move. My favorite saying to beat negative BS is “What if?” What if you could? Allow yourself to wonder. Wondering opens you up, it precedes ideas and inspiration.  Next time you see something you can’t afford, say to yourself, “I am open, what if?” And then give something to yourself. Be receptive. Prove that you can get stuff. If anything, give yourself grace, understanding, and compassion.  Give yourself love. That doesn’t cost a thing!

4.       “I will outshine someone if I am successful.” Who are you staying small for? Who are you afraid of intimidating if you grow into your success? That’s very kind of you darling but here’s the deal- Just like the life coach who intimidated me, if she hadn’t gone before me and shined her light so bright to trigger my insecurities, I’m not sure if I’d be here writing this blog today. Sometimes we need someone to step up their game so that it pushes us to do the same. Why not let it be you?  Step up your game so that someone can do the same.  

5.       “Life sucks.” Yes, life can suck sometimes. But how effective is your pity party? Who or what are you blaming for this life sucking? This is the most victim-like statement on the list. I want to smack people who go around saying “life sucks.” Everyone has a hard life. I was once a single mother in a one bedroom apartment living off of change in her sofa to take us to McDonalds dollar menu!  Life sucked, but I didn’t want it to stay like that so I took accountability for how I got there and slowly dug my way out. Expecting the outer world to change doesn’t work. No one’s going to save you. You have to jump in and stop it from sucking.

6.       “I’m too tired, not enough energy.” Let’s talk about where you’re losing energy. What is draining you? Is it the food you’re eating (or not eating)? Are you low in nutrients? Do you hate how you look in  clothes? Are you surrounded by people who drain you? Do you need healthy boundaries so that you can focus on yourself? Are you working a job you hate? What kind of drama is sucking the life out of you? Are you not taking time for yourself? Do you create time for fun? Do you delegate or do you do it all yourself? How many obligations are you involved in that you dislike? Are you mentally beating up on yourself? Is someone else beating up on you? How much of your day do you spend worrying or being stressed out? Are you watching too much TV? Too much social media? Do you create time to exercise? Do you go for walks? Do you spend time in nature? Do you sleep in too late? Do you stay up too late? Do you drink too much caffeine? Alcohol? Involved in other substances? How much BS is in your head? I think the answers to these questions are enough here.

7.       “I will fail.” My last blog was all about redefining failure. It’s such BS to believe you’re going to fail. There is no failing. There is just quitting. If you're going to fear anything, be afraid you’re going to quit, then work on that. 

8.       “I am not qualified or smart enough.” If I can personally open up here and say that this was a big one for me.  Being qualified is huge in my family. My dad drilled it into our heads to go to college.  I have since learned that drilling and encouraging are two separate things. I wanted nothing more than to go to college, however I was a teen mom who was trying to get by. I always knew I had great ideas, and that I had a special ability to assist people meet their goals, whether they were health related, relationship, or finances. I let the fact that I didn’t finish college get to me, and I played small until my 30’s. It wasn’t until I decided to get my certification in Life Coaching that I realized I was already qualified. Everything I learned from the coaching school were things I was already doing! I had read well over 25 self help books and dozens of spiritual books, and I applied what I could to my own life. Let this be a lesson to us all, that while having a piece of paper on your wall is great, and it shows commitment and determination, it doesn’t make you any greater than someone who has the natural ability to do their trade. When people tell me they feel unqualified, I ask them how many books they have read in their trade? I ask who their mentor is, who do they follow? I also ask them to tell me life experiences and ideas they have. The truth is that if you have a desire, you are qualified. Your passion is your qualification, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!

9.       “I need (A) to happen first.  If it weren’t for (A), I’d be doing it.” Biggest excuse for not moving forward EVER! I used to think that my house had to be spotless and totally organized in order for me to write. Glad I’m not using that excuse anymore. I’m sitting here next to a basket of laundry that is happily waiting for my creative serge to complete this blog. What are you waiting for? Your circumstances will never be good enough for you to start, so just start. No more excuses.

10.   “Never.” I don’t really think I need to write anything here other than just stop saying that word. You know why.

3 ways to stop the BS.  

First of all, be aware of what you’re thinking.  Be aware of how you’re feeling.  So many people are numb to negativity because it’s their norm. But you can’t make changes until you chose to be sensitive. Your entire BS is just fear. And fear is not you.  Just because you’re hearing it in your head, doesn’t make it true.

Second, question what you’re thinking by asking yourself, “Is that true?”  I’ll use number 9 as an example: “I need (A) to happen before I do (fill in the blank).”  Is that true?  Do you really need something to happen before you get successful? Or is there something you can do right now, even a small step that would create movement and momentum?

Third, your BS shows up in your results.  What kinds of results are you getting in your love life, your career, your home life, your social life, your finances, your spiritual life, and all other areas?  Your unwanted or disappointing results are the tell tale sign that you have BS. By looking at your results, you can identify how you’re limiting yourself due to your inner thoughts, and that it is time to make a change.

Of course, it’s easy to make changes when you are 100% clear. Remember that you can live an abundant life of grace and ease when you make powerful decisions based on CLARITY.

Check me out at www.clarityistheway.com

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