How to beautify your life TODAY.

It is officially autumn in the Northern Hemisphere where I live. This morning, I woke up. Thank goodness I woke up. My window was open. There was a crisp anticipation in the air that found my cheeks and nose that made me snuggle deeper into my blankets. But the persistent autumn air found my smile, lifted my eyelids anyway. I could hear birds busily building thicker nests, the preparation of colder mornings to come surrounding my home. Suddenly, the geese were on the move heading south, and their awkward song broke through the silence of my room. Something within me stirred. I sat up looking out at the falling flowers and leaves, and felt the promise of their return after winter. I began repeating my morning decree, allowing my mind and heart to work softly together, visualizing my day and to humbly pray. I was already feeling gratitude for my upcoming day as my feet found my furry black slippers and I padded across the hall to wake up my sweet sleeping child for school.

I begin to move through my day as if I were dancing on a stage in ballet slippers. As if my dream of being a ballerina as a child plays out without any resistance from my 37 year old self. I’m dancing between coaching calls, readings, writing, playing with my kitties, listening to music, kissing my lover, cooking for my family, walking my dog, laughing with girlfriends, and then there is always my new “favorite” book and taking time to be taught by my mentors. Yes, it all gets accomplished, the house gets wiped down, the laundry folded, bills get paid. Date nights, family time, it’s all in there. And I feel beautiful. I feel beauty while vacuuming my home, while picking up dog crap, I feel beauty in the stories I hear from my clients and seeing them take risks and make breakthroughs.   I feel beauty when the night tucks me in next to my sweetheart and I once again open my heart in gratitude.

How did a poor single mother who once felt ugly, used, worthless, and broken wake up this morning like this? How does a woman who had seemingly failed at business, relationships, and parenting smile at herself in the mirror and say sweetly to her reflection, “You really are beautiful.”  Is it possible to live with this sort of grace and ease?  The answer is in the steps I take every day to create balance and it all has to do with being very clear about my priorities, removing negativity, and choosing to believe in my worth. One of my favorite sayings is, “I know who I am, I know who’s I am.”  At some point I dedicated myself and my life to something greater than me. As I allow this greatness to move through me, I am blessed by the results you just read.  It takes time, forgiveness, and dedication. However if you’re willing to include these following steps into your day, you will see a difference; you may even choose to tell yourself you’re beautiful… and mean it.

1.       Decree your days.  Don’t allow the world to have its way with you. Set your intentions first thing in the morning, and then be flexible to positive or productive changes if needed. Decide how you would like to feel at the end of the day and then take steps to create that end result for yourself. You will sleep better feeling accomplished, even if it is for something small.

2.       Have an abundant mentality. Be grateful for what you have right now. Create for yourself a gratitude journal and write something in it every day. You feel ugly when you have a lack mentality, so beautify your mind by appreciating everything and everyone that is around you.  Trust that there is enough to go around, and that your gratitude will bring even more to you.

3.       Eat clean. You are what you eat. If you want to beautify your life, eat beautiful things. Make your plate look pretty, take time to add colors, herbs, spices. Greasy, brown, dull food will make you feel sluggish and ugly. There is an abundant rainbow of nutrients ready to give you energy and help you feel radiant!

4.       Let go of grudges. Forgiveness makes you pretty.  It also beautifies your reputation. What exactly do you want to be known for?  Toxic behavior that comes from grudges makes you ugly. Ask yourself who you’re really mad at. Take accountability. Resolve it! LET IT GO! Letting go of grudges makes you feel as light as air, and it will uplift your world.

5.       Stop comparing yourself to others. The only person you’re competing with is YOU. Raise your own bar. Be stubborn about your goal, but flexible about your method.  If you have something that’s not working, it isn’t because someone else is doing it better.  It’s because you haven’t found your win yet. Focus on yourself; leave everyone else out of it. When you do this, you are able to completely celebrate all of your accomplishments along the way without feeling rushed or not good enough. Celebrating your accomplishments is beautiful!

6.       Don’t talk about what you can’t do, talk about what you CAN do.  Complaining or being negative about your capabilities or skill set is super ugly. Giving yourself grace makes you glow.  When you are complaining, you are not creating. Stay optimistic, forward thinking and you will have the energy to learn and grow.

7.       Notice beautiful things and invite them into your space. One of the things I love is good music, and a good scene. The sky is literally painted for us at every sunset, and yet how many times do you stop and take it in? Put the sunset in your heart, put the stars in your eyes, and let the night wind brush your hair. These things make you beautiful. Make sure you have nature in your home. Plants, animals, crystals, fountains, candles, anything that balances the elements in your environment will make beauty around you.  Right now, look around you. What is beautiful?  Notice beauty. Notice yourself.

Clarity is beautiful. You can live a life of grace and ease when you make powerful decisions based on clarity.

www.clarityistheway.com for information about my 1 on 1 coaching sessions, angel readings, mentorship, and upcoming events.

Follow me on your favorite social media platforms @clarityistheway.

Periscope LIVE coaching every Wednesday at 12 noon MST.  @clarityistheway.

10 BeliefsThat Keep You From Succeeding

Once you identify these negative beliefs and eradicate them, your opportunity to be successful will greatly improve.

What is a negative belief? I like to use the acronym BS to break down how I view a system of beliefs that do not serve your success goals. (Belief Systems=BS). A belief is simply a thought that has been thought so much that you have an emotional tie to it.  If I think I’m ugly every day, and have an emotional tie to that thought, it will become a belief. Does that mean that my belief is correct? No. It’s BS. Someone else might think I’m pretty and that is their BS.

“But Crystal, how do we know who’s right in their BS?” I’ll go into BS in another blog, but for now here is something that will help you tell the difference. Truth is something that brings a sense of peace and solidity in the midst of a chaotic world filled with BS. Truth is not charged with negative emotion, instead it gives you strength, courage, and determination.

What I want you to know about your BS for now though is that you can’t fool anyone with them.  Your belief systems show up in everything you do, whether you want them to or not.  It is like the food you eat.  You can eat privately, but the food you choose to eat will show up on your body.  Just like your private belief systems, they will show up in your life. You can tell who takes care of themselves.  You can see someone’s BS if you watch how they live life.

Here are some common negative beliefs that can severely ruin your success. If you can get rid of this BS, you’ll be steps closer to attaining your goals.

1.       “Someone’s already thought of it, or is doing it.”  How many people are in this world? And you think you have to be the only one with the idea in order to execute it? The difference between you and everyone else is YOU!  So what if someone else “stole” your big idea? No one will do it the way that you do it. I used to be so intimidated by a certain female life coach who seemed to be living the life I wanted. Watching her grow made me feel like I was losing some sort of race to success. That was until I read Girl Code by Cara Alwill Leyba, who wrote these magic words:“Her success is not your failure.” The only reason I was intimidated was because I wasn’t going after my dream to be a life coach. Once I got the ball rolling, and took action, it was easy for me to look at the other woman with appreciation. I chose to be inspired rather than jealous. Now I look forward to her posts because she’s showing me what’s possible. And the best part is, I’m working my coaching practice completely different than she is because no one is like me.  No one will do it the way YOU do it.

2.       “They won’t like me, listen to me, they won’t care about me.” There is a common belief that you are fundamentally damaged or flawed.  I work a lot with people in my practice regarding this negative BS. When you feel flawed to your core, you won’t allow yourself to be happy or successful and you will sabotage your chances every time. It’s a fear that you’ll never be good enough and something that would take more than just this little blog to solve. However, I will leave you with this advice; In this day in age, it is hard not to find people who won’t listen to you. I mean, look at all the weird people who do have a following! “You’re never too weird for the world”- Bossbabe Alex. There is an admirer for every artist, a reader for every writer, a listener for every speaker. Even though you might not feel good enough, realize that most people don’t. You don’t have to cover up who you are. You don’t have to be fake or inauthentic, be yourself and those who understand you will support you!

3.       “That’s too much, I could never afford it.” You may have reason to think this, however when you say “I could never afford it,” you don’t even give yourself a chance for an opportunity to have it. Let me tell you what you can’t afford. You can’t afford NOT to make a move. My favorite saying to beat negative BS is “What if?” What if you could? Allow yourself to wonder. Wondering opens you up, it precedes ideas and inspiration.  Next time you see something you can’t afford, say to yourself, “I am open, what if?” And then give something to yourself. Be receptive. Prove that you can get stuff. If anything, give yourself grace, understanding, and compassion.  Give yourself love. That doesn’t cost a thing!

4.       “I will outshine someone if I am successful.” Who are you staying small for? Who are you afraid of intimidating if you grow into your success? That’s very kind of you darling but here’s the deal- Just like the life coach who intimidated me, if she hadn’t gone before me and shined her light so bright to trigger my insecurities, I’m not sure if I’d be here writing this blog today. Sometimes we need someone to step up their game so that it pushes us to do the same. Why not let it be you?  Step up your game so that someone can do the same.  

5.       “Life sucks.” Yes, life can suck sometimes. But how effective is your pity party? Who or what are you blaming for this life sucking? This is the most victim-like statement on the list. I want to smack people who go around saying “life sucks.” Everyone has a hard life. I was once a single mother in a one bedroom apartment living off of change in her sofa to take us to McDonalds dollar menu!  Life sucked, but I didn’t want it to stay like that so I took accountability for how I got there and slowly dug my way out. Expecting the outer world to change doesn’t work. No one’s going to save you. You have to jump in and stop it from sucking.

6.       “I’m too tired, not enough energy.” Let’s talk about where you’re losing energy. What is draining you? Is it the food you’re eating (or not eating)? Are you low in nutrients? Do you hate how you look in  clothes? Are you surrounded by people who drain you? Do you need healthy boundaries so that you can focus on yourself? Are you working a job you hate? What kind of drama is sucking the life out of you? Are you not taking time for yourself? Do you create time for fun? Do you delegate or do you do it all yourself? How many obligations are you involved in that you dislike? Are you mentally beating up on yourself? Is someone else beating up on you? How much of your day do you spend worrying or being stressed out? Are you watching too much TV? Too much social media? Do you create time to exercise? Do you go for walks? Do you spend time in nature? Do you sleep in too late? Do you stay up too late? Do you drink too much caffeine? Alcohol? Involved in other substances? How much BS is in your head? I think the answers to these questions are enough here.

7.       “I will fail.” My last blog was all about redefining failure. It’s such BS to believe you’re going to fail. There is no failing. There is just quitting. If you're going to fear anything, be afraid you’re going to quit, then work on that. 

8.       “I am not qualified or smart enough.” If I can personally open up here and say that this was a big one for me.  Being qualified is huge in my family. My dad drilled it into our heads to go to college.  I have since learned that drilling and encouraging are two separate things. I wanted nothing more than to go to college, however I was a teen mom who was trying to get by. I always knew I had great ideas, and that I had a special ability to assist people meet their goals, whether they were health related, relationship, or finances. I let the fact that I didn’t finish college get to me, and I played small until my 30’s. It wasn’t until I decided to get my certification in Life Coaching that I realized I was already qualified. Everything I learned from the coaching school were things I was already doing! I had read well over 25 self help books and dozens of spiritual books, and I applied what I could to my own life. Let this be a lesson to us all, that while having a piece of paper on your wall is great, and it shows commitment and determination, it doesn’t make you any greater than someone who has the natural ability to do their trade. When people tell me they feel unqualified, I ask them how many books they have read in their trade? I ask who their mentor is, who do they follow? I also ask them to tell me life experiences and ideas they have. The truth is that if you have a desire, you are qualified. Your passion is your qualification, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!

9.       “I need (A) to happen first.  If it weren’t for (A), I’d be doing it.” Biggest excuse for not moving forward EVER! I used to think that my house had to be spotless and totally organized in order for me to write. Glad I’m not using that excuse anymore. I’m sitting here next to a basket of laundry that is happily waiting for my creative serge to complete this blog. What are you waiting for? Your circumstances will never be good enough for you to start, so just start. No more excuses.

10.   “Never.” I don’t really think I need to write anything here other than just stop saying that word. You know why.

3 ways to stop the BS.  

First of all, be aware of what you’re thinking.  Be aware of how you’re feeling.  So many people are numb to negativity because it’s their norm. But you can’t make changes until you chose to be sensitive. Your entire BS is just fear. And fear is not you.  Just because you’re hearing it in your head, doesn’t make it true.

Second, question what you’re thinking by asking yourself, “Is that true?”  I’ll use number 9 as an example: “I need (A) to happen before I do (fill in the blank).”  Is that true?  Do you really need something to happen before you get successful? Or is there something you can do right now, even a small step that would create movement and momentum?

Third, your BS shows up in your results.  What kinds of results are you getting in your love life, your career, your home life, your social life, your finances, your spiritual life, and all other areas?  Your unwanted or disappointing results are the tell tale sign that you have BS. By looking at your results, you can identify how you’re limiting yourself due to your inner thoughts, and that it is time to make a change.

Of course, it’s easy to make changes when you are 100% clear. Remember that you can live an abundant life of grace and ease when you make powerful decisions based on CLARITY.

Check me out at www.clarityistheway.com

I'm looking forward to meeting up with you on Periscope every Wednesday for your LIVE Mid-Week Motivation. Follow me @clarityistheway  

Fighting The Monster

Picture this- you enter your pet into a fun race through a maze. All of the pets receive their favorite treat when they complete the maze. You’re so excited for your pet to have a good time with all of the other pets, and he is happy, confident and ready.  The race begins and all of the pets scatter in different directions, running into dead ends, turning around, finding different doorways that lead to their opportunity to win. You think your pet is doing great, and you are enjoying the game until all of the sudden, your pet begins to show signs of stress because he’s run into a few dead ends and now feels turned around.  From your perspective looking down into the maze, you can see that he is very close to finding his treat.  You try to cheer him on, but out of nowhere a monster appears and begins to scare him into a corner. The monster is telling your pet all sorts of lies about the maze- that he’s too far off course, that others have already won, that he will be the last one and that he should feel hopeless and ashamed for how poorly he is doing. You watch your pet try to hide himself so that the other pets can’t see him. You wish he would just keep going, he’s almost there, you try to yell advice and cheer him on. But you see, the monster has him in his clutches and this is not a fun game anymore.  How are you feeling while reading this?  Probably very similar to how your loved ones feel when they watch you shrink away from your goals and dreams every time your monster appears.

This monster is the fear of failure, and it waits at the dead ends for us. How many of us have run into dead ends and believed it was failure?  How many of us are hiding in corners instead of continuing forward with our goals because we are too afraid to fail? How many of us believe the monster’s lies? 

The Monsters job is to scare you away from everything you want by making failure out to be something it’s not. He will scare you with your image, with other people’s judgments, perfectionism, fear of acceptance, and whatever he can possibly use to get you to stay hidden. How do we fight this monster? We must redefine failure.  

Failure is not the enemy. Failing creates humility and you then become teachable.  How can you be lead through the maze when you think you know everything? Think about the scenario with your pet, if your pet thought he knew everything, he wouldn’t be listening to your guidance to get him through the maze. He would run into WAY more dead ends without someone on the outside cheering him on. You are the same way. When you run into a dead end, this is not failure. Failure is impossible.  The end of the maze is there! When you run into a dead end, it’s time to get quiet and listen for guidance.

That is what failure means. It means that it is time to get quiet.

Dead ends feel horrible and we try everything to run out of them fast. However, in my experience, it is when you can sit still in the face of a dead end. Fight the monster that wants you to be anxious.  Fight the monster that wants you to quit, compare, and complain. Your power is in the stillness.  When you are listening to what the monster says, you’re not getting guidance on how to finish the maze.

Most successful people will tell you that the best thing that happened to them was to fail because it was then they were realigned to their purpose.  Dead ends simply mean that it is time to be redirected. They do not mean anything that the monster is telling you.

Here’s the truth. When you set out to accomplish a goal, you begin the maze. You will inevitably run into dead ends and feel like you’re failing.  But if you’re not running into dead ends, you’re not moving towards your goal.  When you’re not running into dead ends, you’re hiding. You’re not really putting yourself out there, you’re not really going for your dreams, and you have quit. Failure means you’re moving, pushing, working, risking, and accomplishing the maze.

I want you to think of someone you admire, someone you see as successful, perhaps a mentor or someone who is where you’d like to be. Do you know what kinds of setbacks they had? Do you know about their failures? If not, you need to find out.  Nobody gets through the maze without facing a monster or two, and if you’re backed into a corner with your monster, it’s time to start fighting back!

Fighting the monster: Sit, listen, and be redirected, be realigned. It’s that simple.  Don’t freak out, figure it out. Make a new game plan, get CLEAR, then and only then take massive action to get through the rest of your maze.

All monsters are like the monsters in our closets as kids.  Your ability to sit still and get insight and a new idea is like turning on the light and realizing there really wasn’t a monster after all.  Just crazy shadows that never truly existed.  And perhaps the prize at the end of the maze isn’t really the “prize”.  Perhaps it’s realizing that there was never and will never be anything to be afraid of.  Perhaps it’s all about the journey through the maze. 

So, lets continue on with our pet scenario and give it a happy ending. Your pet finally stops and perks up his ears to your voice. You begin giving him clear and direct guidance on how to get through the maze. He sits still and listens carefully and thankfully to your instructions. As he does this, the monster begins to shrink away. When your pet feels that he knows the next step, he starts into the maze again. With each twist and turn he becomes more confident.  This time when he runs into a dead end, he knows what to do. He sits still and waits for your instruction.  The game becomes fun again, people are cheering him on. You feel the pride and excitement in your heart as your pet triumphantly finds the end and enjoys his favorite treat. He is a better pet now than he was before he began, and you are both grateful for the entire experience… even for the monster.

Of course the power in your process is how CLEAR you can get in your stillness.  You can live a life of grace and ease when you make powerful decisions based on CLARITY.

www.clarityistheway.com follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Youtube for motivation, meditation, and more.

NOW ON PERISCOPE Wednesdays at noon MST for your LIVE mid week motivation and Q&A. Follow me @clarityistheway 

Intuitive Enhancement and Angel Mentoring 6 week intensive starts November  1

For more information on this program, call 712-775-7089 Access code: 474545 to hear the recorded details.

Clarity is The Way 8 Week Body, Mind, & Self Development Program is in the works, stay tuned!

Contact me at clearagain22@gmail.com to preregister and sign up. 

Getting Unstuck

The most common theme I see within my clients is the feeling of being stuck.  I hear stories of how they are stuck in unhealthy relationships, stuck feeling alone, stuck in a dead end job, stuck when it comes to their purpose, stuck and can’t take a step towards their dreams. Within the stories, I hear their excuses, their fears, and their shame.  I feel their hopelessness, and the dread that comes from feeling there is nowhere for them to go.  All the while, I am receiving insight and visions of their potential and endless possibilities for them. This is the dichotomy I find myself in while working with clients, seeing their story, vs. understanding the truth.

The truth is that no one is ever stuck. The feeling of stuck is actually resistance to moving forward. I’ve come to know that life is ever flowing. Time flows forward, and we are in it as if we were in a flowing river. There is no such thing as being stuck in this river, you are either going with the flow moving forward, or you are struggling to resist the flow. When you feel stuck, you have created a situation to where you are so fearful of moving forward that you literally turn to face upstream, not seeing the way forward, and you begin to resist the current. The unknown future is looming, and you refuse to see anything other than where you’ve been and perhaps the discomfort of being beat down by the relentless flow. It can be painful to be in resistance, and often times people blame the river.  They say, “life is so harsh! I’m getting my ass kicked over here! Nothing is working out! I’m so stuck!”  And because we are unconsciously dead set on not moving forward, we work harder to swim back upstream where at least it’s familiar, but the thing is that the flow is so strong that we can’t ever get “back there.” “Back there” is gone, all we have is where we are, and where we are going. It is tiring to resist the flow and yes, it makes you feel stuck.

When I am working with someone who is telling me their story about how they are stuck, I literally see them in the river, facing backwards, struggling to swim in an opposite direction than where the flow is trying to take them. In doing so, they are unaware of the possibilities that lay before them, their back is turned and they are so focused on the discomfort from resisting life that it’s all consuming.  My job is to look forward for them and tell them it’s alright. It’s as if I’m telling them to just pick up their feet, turn in the direction of the flow, and paddle forward. It’s my job to continue to believe that they are not truly stuck, I can’t buy into their limited story while I’m receiving information that tells me how unlimited they are. Often times I ask them, “What would you be doing right now if you weren’t stuck?” "What are you so afraid of?" Or I’ll ask them to start dreaming again.  Fear cuts off your imagination and if we can’t even dream about what life would look like out of the immobility, than how can we possibly be open to creative solutions?

Most fears that create resistance to moving forward are unconscious. There are too many to cover in one blog, but here are common ones.

Unconscious fear of failure and/or success.  How can you have both of these fears? It happens.  Running opposing fears is like running two different loud CD’s in the same room.  Even if one of them made sense, you wouldn’t be able to hear it clearly. This creates a static inside of your head that makes you feel crazy, dark, and cut off from any sort of guidance.  A lot of people have fears of failure because they fear humiliation. AND they have the fear of being successful because they fear abandonment. They think it will be lonely at the top.  How do you feel about being a failure or obtaining success?

Fear of the unseen. They may be unclear about what the step after the first step is. Sometimes the first step into any endeavor is scary because we have no idea what will happen after we take it so we hang onto where we are, and even create chaos or drama to keep us there so that we “can’t” take the step.  What kinds of dramas or distractions have you created to keep you away from the unseen?

Fear of change. Moving out of the “stuckness” or resistance requires change.  It requires that you discontinue resisting where you are.  Imagine the energy and effort it takes to be in resistance.  Resistance to the flow may simply be a judgment you have against yourself, someone else, or the situation at hand. You can’t get out of debt if you are so busy shaming yourself for your spending habits.  You can’t be open to receiving guidance on how to remove yourself safely from an abusive situation if you are too busy beating yourself up for staying in it. You can’t focus on your health if you are too busy feeling guilty about what you ate last night.  All of that stuff is up the river.  All of those things, you can flow out of once you are willing to make a change.  How do you feel about change?

How to move forward.

The first step: Turn around. What have you been focusing on? Are you looking back upstream into the past? Are your eyes closed? Are you focused on how much it hurts to feel stuck? Then turn around. Remove your focus from the pain and the problem.  Get out of saying “should” or “shouldn’t.” Stop beating yourself up, stop beating other people up, stop judging the situation. The reason you feel stuck is because you are in so much resistance to what is actually going on, who people really are, and who you really are. Unless you shift your focus away from the problem and the pain, you will never be able to focus downstream where the solutions are.

The second step: Put your feet up. A good way of knowing if you’re going with the flow is the feeling of relief.  Putting your feet up means that you have accepted where you are.  It takes a lot of work to try to swim back up stream.  It takes a lot of effort to not move forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with everything. It’s okay if you’re not okay with where you are, the good news is that as you stop the denial and judgment, you will allow the flow to carry you forward and out of where you are. This is when you begin to think “outside of the box.” This is when all the great new insights happen.  Your best ideas come from when you are ready for them… when you have shifted your focus from the problem to acceptance.

The third step:  Paddle.  Follow through on your ideas. Prioritize. Take massive action.  Take a risk. Start doing the work required to get you where you want to be. Here’s a suggestion as you are finally taking action--Be very selective about who you confide in as you take the steps forward. Because our society seems to glorify and support being stuck, be careful who you let into your new plans.  Make sure they are people who understand taking risks, creative solutions, and who will support you in change. Trust your gut. When you are out of the negativity zone, and you’ve shifted your focus from the problem to being courageously open to possibilities, your gut will kick in. Everyone has gut level intuition when they are out of the fear zone. Don’t be afraid to trust how you feel and what you innately know about you, your situation, and the people around you.

And remember that clarity is powerful! You can create a life of ease and grace when you make powerful decisions based on clarity!

www.clarityistheway.com follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Youtube for motivation, meditation, and more.

NOW ON PERISCOPE Wednesdays at noon MST for your LIVE mid week motivational tip and Q&A. 

Intuitive Enhancement and Angel Mentoring 6 week intensive starts November  1

For more information on this program, call 712-775-7089 Access code: 474545 to hear the recorded details.

Clarity is The Way 8 Week Body, Mind, & Self Development program that will transform your life is in the works, stay tuned!

Contact me at clearagain22@gmail.com to preregister and sign up.