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Sunday, October 28, 2018

No Ordinary Girl

I stopped mid step the moment I heard my name. They didn't know I was just down the hall and their voices seemed to waft through the air, heavy in their own secret conversation. 

"I suppose we won't be seeing your daughter in church then?" I recognized the older stern tone in her voice realizing it was the lady who lived down the street. Was she grilling my mother about my church attendance? I frowned. The truth was, I hadn't been to a church since I was a child. I squared my shoulders ready to walk in and defend myself when I was taken back again by my mothers own sweet melodic voice. 

Addressing the lady politely, she said, "Crystal, she is no ordinary girl. She's been raised all over the world and she has very different views than what is taught in church. I don't worry, her connection to God may be unique, but it is there nonetheless." 

Immediate tears stung my eyes and I had to quickly move away from my position in the hall as I heard them approaching the door. I suddenly didn't want to be seen. In a few swift strides, I found myself in a bathroom with my hands over my mouth. I had never heard my mother speak of me this way. I had always assumed I was a disappointment to her because try as I might, I never fit in with religion. Regardless of how she truly may have felt about me, in that moment she had defended my freedom and no matter what twists and turns our relationship has taken, her voice is forever lovingly burned into my memory, "She is no ordinary girl." 

No mama, I'm not. Thank Goddess!

Friday, October 26, 2018

A Push For Love

Remember my story about when I was just beginning my spiritual journey and a mysterious life-changing book fell off a shelf in a bookstore and hit my foot? That book was The Lightworkers Way by Doreen Virtue. It's been almost 20 years later and I've decided to read it again. Just like before, it couldn't have come at a better time. The book was written in 1997 and with all of the recent and vast political and economical upheaval, it has been a refreshing remembrance of better times to say the least. I started last night by reverently and slowly making my way through the forward that was written by Louise L Hay, another one of the masters who guided me into my life as a mystic. I often describe Louise as my fairy godmother who showed up when I was lost and scared, handed me a pair of crystal slippers, and sent me back into the world as a princess. She helped me clean up my thoughts and through some deep forgiveness until my soul was sparkly and royal. Reading her words last night brought back a remembrance of why I began my spiritual journey in the first place. 

With everything going on in our world today, I guess I needed a little reminder from my fairy godmother that anything is still possible. She spoke about how important it is to monitor our thoughts because they are so powerful that they create the circumstances in our lives. "The way we think about ourselves, about others, and about life contributes enormously to the way we live. What we give out comes back to us, always. Therefore, if we want to live lives of harmony and well-being, then we must have harmonious, loving thoughts constantly in our mental atmosphere. We will never be able to help heal this planet if we criticize and condemn people, places, and events. To be true healers, we must concentrate our mental energy on seeing the positive wherever reality shows us otherwise."

And she was serious about this concept. Until the day she died, Louise was a beautiful example of what unconditional love is and how being in control of your mind ultimately leads you into it. There is so much justification to hate going on right now, from the left to the right and like anyone else I have been somewhat swept up in all of it. But last night, her words were like a hot shower after a long sweaty days work washing away my own unsettled thoughts around our world. Louise goes on to say the following. "Whenever I hear of a gang member, criminal, crooked politician, drug baron, dictator, or anyone who is creating pain in this world, I bless them with Divine Love, for I know that within them is all the good that resides in all of us. They all have the ability to turn this part of themselves in an instant. If I hear of a crisis or disaster, I immediately send love and healing energy to that place. On a daily basis, I visualize the world as harmonious and healed, with plenty of food, shelter, and clothing for all. I see everyone with meaningful work to do and an income that supports them. I visualize harmony in families and between nations. I use my mind to put as much positive energy as I can into the world through our collective consciousness." 

I actually began to cry a little while reading this. My mind began with, "well sure it was easy for her to do this back then before the crisis and division that is currently happening in our country." And then I caught myself. There's always been some sort of crisis. Louise was a huge healing influence for people who contracted AIDS during it's initial epidemic. She lived through wars and political scandals. I have no doubt that if she were still alive today, she would not falter in her efforts towards peace just because things have become "worse." And then my thoughts found me in a question. "Although there are some really powerful teachers out there, Louise is gone along with many others who really pioneered spirituality as it is today. If they are not here to omit those positive and peaceful frequencies into our 'collective consciousness' to keep the scales from tipping into pure negative chaos, who will?" 

Oh my gosh. Is this why I'm pushing the Modern Mystic movement? I wonder, with all of my favorite authors and speakers passing on in their own ways, who will pick up the torch that is being passed on? Historically, this is how it's done- every generation of "Lightworkers" takes the flame and interprets it according to how it needs to be used. I am asking myself if a wave of strong, unrelenting, committed modern mystics will be the ones who take these concepts forward in order to hold down the energy of peace. Will we in fact be the beacons of light when the shit storm of political outrage and revolution hits? 

I am starting to believe that those of us who have been in the healing fields, spirituality, and realms of the mystic have been prepared.We are in a perfect place for it- most of us unattached to any particular religion or political party and if we are, our inner purpose to stand for peace and innate willingness to think outside of the box usually overrides the attachment. And so now it is our time to do the hard work of disciplining our minds. To follow in the footsteps of the masters and commit our lives to Love regardless of the hurricane around us. To stay focused on Peace in a world that is about to explode, this will be our work. I'm ready. Are you?

Thursday, October 25, 2018

You Were Made For This Stuff

If there is one thing I know to be true, at some point in your life, you will enter the unknown- a sacred place where all things are created but not yet formed. A place of potential, dreams, and possibilities. Where you find yourself standing face to face with the magic of intention. The unknowable forces of destiny and fate begin to weave into the tapestry of your life creating plot twists and unexpected turns that leave you in wonder and awe. The Mystic revels in these moments of seeming darkness. She knows how to maneuver through them by humbling herself to the power of the unknown in order to be taught what she needs to know. She recognizes these darker times as an opportunity to strengthen her faith and connection to the Divine. She understands that she is not in full control and patiently observes what and when the Mystery reveals itself realizing that there are certain cosmic laws that operate outside of time, space, human influence and intellect. In doing so, she opens herself to miracles and sacred epiphanies that send her soaring above the mundane and placing her in positions way above what she or anyone else could ever imagine. These are the rags to riches stories, the "amazing grace" moments where you were once blind and can now see- but only through a lens another Mystic could possibly fathom. Others who have resisted the unknown sit at their own mysterious threshold fearing, settling, forgetting. 

Only complete trust and the deepest faith can get you through when the Mystery enters your life. But, as a Mystic, it is what you were born to do. You're made for this stuff. 

Sitting in The Palm of His Hand.

I am writing this blog on the Taurus Full Moon after ceremony. What a beautiful evening. Once a month, I get the chance to sit with my children in a sacred circle under the blessed moonlight to talk, reconnect, release what we no longer need/want, and dream our beautiful futures together. It is a circle where no judgment exists. Just simple gracious support for one another. It always warms my heart to hear their visions for their futures. Did you know you can live with someone for years and never know the inner workings of their desires, what drives and motivates them, or even be in touch with the chosen path they are walking towards their destiny? Nights like these are held among the most sacred moments in my heart because I know it is not common among most people to feel this connected to their loved ones.  
Tonight as I gazed into the faces of my kids with the moon and candlelight reflected in their eyes, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy being their mother. I have dedicated my life to serving my Father God and Mother Goddess by doing my best to heal and inspire all of their children. But everything I do has to start at home. By instilling in my own children the love and security found in their connection to their Creator, I fulfill my role as a mother/guide to them. I know that the more security we feel in our relationship to our Creator, the better life is. In short, I am all that I am because I have made the most important relationships in my life my number one priority. It wasn't always like this. I had to work really hard to turn things around in all of my relationships in order for me to be where I am. And so tonight as the rich loving familial energy of Taurus shines down upon my loved ones and moves steadily like a bull across our skies, I deeply and humbly bow to the one relationship I trust and call home. Once I straightened things out with my God and Goddess, everything else fell into place. Everything I need is right here. There is nothing lacking. And so it is. 

Song Inspiration: Now We Are Free by Lisa Kelly

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Rise Above It

Unless you are Angelina Jolie playing Maleficent, there is nothing attractive about lowering yourself in order to seek vengeance. Carrying around chips on your shoulders trying to prove yourself is just ugly. When people or situations call for you to react in foul ways, see it as an opportunity to flex that "Mystic's muscle" and rise above it. Personally, I have come to see drama and toxic behavior as a cry for love. If I'm not in a place to give love at that moment, then I get to walk away and love myself.

If you can see challenging situations as either a call for love or a call into fear and drama it's easy to make the decision. Love always wins, whether you are rising above it all together to give yourself love, or giving a hurt person a healing touch. The choice is yours. All I know is that when I see you decide against reacting negatively and in exchange rising above the bullshit, you look amazing!

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Balancing Your Elements

The four elements I predominately work with are Air, Fire, Water, and Earth. Simply put, you are made up of all elements. Air is your breath, Fire is your personality, Water is your blood, and Earth is your bones. In your life, Air represents your thoughts, insights, and communications. Fire represents your sexuality, passions, purpose, and motivations. Water represents your emotions, intuition, and spirituality. And Earth represents your education, home, money, food and job. 

When one or more of these elements are missing, you can feel and see the imbalance. For instance, if you are lacking in Earth, you might find making money difficult or have issues at work or in the home. You might feel ungrounded and spacey. Because of the lack of Earth, you may also have issues with joints and bones. 

Modern Mysticism looks deep into a persons life as if they are an entire ecosystem. When an element is imbalanced, we look to Nature to heal us. In the example of the missing element of Earth, one might be advised to go walk barefoot on raw earth or take up gardening. They may want to work with crystals, herbs, spices, and flowers- all gifts from Earth. 

As you can see, it is best to spend time in Nature to balance your elements. However, here are some more suggestions on how to create a balanced ecosystem in your life.

To balance Water: Make sure you are hydrated, take baths, swim or spend time near natural bodies of water. Honor your emotions by talking to someone you trust or writing them down. Have a good cry. Get an intuitive reading. Spend quiet time alone. Work on forgiving others. Put a small table fountain near you. Watch the sunrise and dream of new love coming into your life.

To balance Air: Do breathing exercises or Yoga that induces deep breathing. Take a speech class or learn how to communicate more effectively. Go to a mastermind group to gain and share innovative ideas. If there is a breeze, close your eyes and feel it on your skin. Sing- even if no one hears. Listen to classical music. Read a well written book. Learn astrology. Sage or burn your favorite incense. Gaze at the stars and think of unlimited possibilities. 

To balance Fire: Light a candle or sit by fire. Dance, paint, watch comedies or find things to laugh about, be social. Have amazing sex. Shop for clothes that make you feel confidant. Be assertive, draw boundaries, take a stand for yourself or for a cause. Cardiovascular activities. Spicy foods or cinnamon. Take in the sunset and think of things you'd like to let go of.

To balance Earth: Walk barefoot on the earth. Spend time under a tree. Plant seeds or buy flowers. Talk to your plants. Spend time with animals. Balance your finances and budget. Consider learning something new, take a training or class. Focus on paying off or collecting debts. Spend time with family. Eat healthy plant based foods. Weight lifting. Work with crystals. Revel in the moonlight and feel yourself grounded on Mama Earth.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Being a Mystery

The fear of being misunderstood and judged are big reasons why many of us shy away from stepping into the Mystic. Part of your spiritual mastery is to shift your attention from trying to be everything to everyone, and into being who you were created to be. For me, once I got clear about God's intentions for my life, it didn't matter what anyone else's opinions were. I found my strength and self esteem in my sure footed connection to my Creator and I'm okay being an unstoppable mystery to anyone who doesn't understand. I can no longer use the fear of what people might think as an excuse not to fully live and express my purpose. But it took me a really long time to get here. 

On my Patreon site, we talk about animal wisdom and this month we are studying the Bat. Since Bats are the only mammal who can fly, they don't really fit in with birds or animals. They are also greatly misunderstood because they have been depicted as dark, evil, and scary- associated with Halloween and vampires. Like many of us who step fully into the unknown, we are often misunderstood as well. Bat medicine shows us how to rise above other people's perceptions and just be yourself. Your flight might look awkward, you may not fit into any certain class, but you are beautiful and magnificent- a true miracle! You are a mystic!

To join my Modern Mystic Membership (only 11.11 a month) and learn more about animal wisdom, go to 

Thursday, October 11, 2018

How Wings Grow

How Wings Grow.

"I can't even say his name" she whispers. She is alone. She is naked. Hot tears roll down her face landing in the bath water. The echos of her sobbing heart bounce off the bathroom walls and cut her ears like knives. She is breathless, broken, left behind. 

"You know what you must do" her angels reply. 

She dips further down into the bath submerging her head. Here it is quiet. She lets the hot salty water rinse through her ears and brush through her hair. If she could only hold her breath longer and stay under forever. Unwillingly she emerges and catches her breath.

"You know what you must do" the message is repeated, this time in a gentler voice.

She squeezes her eyes shut. Her body is tense. If she doesn't do this now, she never will. It feels as though it will kill her, but the alternative is a lifelong sentence of misery. She musters up every ounce of herself and begins. 

Her lips quiver with vulnerability. Her lungs pull in just enough air. His name is reverently spoken followed by words that will finally set her free. It fills the space around her in a silky whisper only angels can understand. 

"I forgive you." 

The hardest part of forgiveness is not pretty. It is not showy or some gallant event that you would later brag about. It is messy, filled with snot and sweat and much resistance. It is private, gruesome, and raw. And it is necessary. I will never forget a message I heard from my angels once teaching me that I could not hold a grievance and peace from God in my heart at the same time. When the ultimatum was given, I chose God. I continue to choose my connection to Him over anything else. This is Mysticism at its finest. You might feel scared, hurt, defensive and spiteful. You might think of cursing or seeking revenge. But the heart of the Mystic knows what she must do to stay magical. She must continue unbinding herself from hate. It is a process, and depending on the wound she might make several attempts before it is complete. Each time a Mystic forgives, her wings grow a little taller. Those hard conversations with God in the dark give birth to the brightest lights. If you are struggling with a grievance in your heart,  I will tell you the same thing my angels tell me all of the time, "You know what you must do." 

From my wing tips to yours. 

Magical People Need Magical People

“Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.” - Karl Marx

It is very important for the Modern Mystic to choose wisely who they will be associating with on a regular business. Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. One of the exercises we use in the 6 Week Clarity Mentorship is to write down the names of those who are closest to us and really review how our intimate relationships are going. We then write next to their name 1 thing we deeply admire and appreciate about that person and 1 thing that we consider to be their downfall. When we see a common theme, pattern, or the same word written a few times, we have to consider that we have somehow attracted a certain personality trait in order to learn, grow, or be inspired. It's also good to consider the following of the people you spend most of your time with:
  • Do they inspire and encourage you to feel like you have what it takes to reach your goals?
  • Do they support you with their actions? (Do they walk their talk?)
  • Do they make you feel attractive?
  • Do you you feel happy and energized after spending time with them? Or do you feel drained?
In my past, I have chosen to stay in toxic friendships and romantic relationships far past their expiration date. (I lightly blame this on my Libra sun Cancer moon.) What I have seen with this unhealthy pattern is the willingness to let my goals and dreams die for the other persons goals and dreams. The deeper feelings of unworthiness have ruled my decision to pour myself into the other person in order to keep them happy and committed. Each time I have given too much up for the sake of another, I have lost a little bit of my own magic. These relationships dulled my sparkle, and closed me off to my own Divine Guidance. After being burned enough times, I finally decided that magical people need other magical people. What this means is that because I am working on developing my greatest relationship to my Creator, I need to surround myself with other people who have the same intentions. Becoming closer to those who share the same love for spirituality and drive to make a difference has massively changed my experience of relationships. 

So, why do we as powerful mystics, and lightworkers so commonly find ourselves in toxic one sided relationships? I have a couple theories, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this is in the comments.

1. Magical people have a strong drive to heal and transform. Therefore, we will attract people who need a lot of healing. However, we cannot be the healer and the lover- it just doesn't work. Send them to someone else so that you can enjoy their journey from the sidelines!

2. People who are looking for a free ride will target givers. I know...I know.. we would all like to believe that everyone has good intentions but that's just not the case. There are people out there who fully intend to just take from you. They are not interested in investing in the relationship- they are there for attention, energy, or whatever else you have that they want. The issue with this scenario is that most lightworkers will be able to sense why the person is this way. "They don't believe in themselves," or "they had a hard childhood," or "they have an addiction that I need to help them through." I'm here to tell you that just because you can explain someone's behavior doesn't mean they are exempt from the natural results their behavior creates. While it's hard to let go of someone's potential, it's also good to keep in mind that sometimes their potential can be like a rainbow- you can see it but it is an illusion.

That is why doing a relationship assessment like the one mentioned above is a worthy effort. It's a good idea to look at people as they are right now and really ask yourself, "are they or are they not contributing to the magical successful life I desire to live?" Realize that this doesn't mean you have to radically dismiss everyone like the Queen of Swords on a rampage. A relationship assessment will simply tell you who to invest in, and who to smile at from a distance. Relationships are journeys. They are our greatest teachers- they are here to help us learn and earn our magic. Choose wisely. 

To find out more about the 6 Week Clarity Mentorship visit or go hang out on my personal website, 

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

5 Ways To Follow Your Intuition

When you are facing a challenge, it is normal to ask advice from your friends and loved ones. One of the mistakes I've made in the past (I'm sure you can relate) is that I asked the wrong person for advice. Their guidance felt off but I followed it regardless of my intuition because I trusted their perception over mine. Even though it is healthy to get an outsiders view, we might also feel like it's not worth asking others for advice because of the overwhelming and confusing influences we invite into our issue. In a sea of other people's opinions how do we make the right decision?

The answer is in your intuition. I call it your "inner bullshit detector" and we all have it. We might not all trust it, but it's there. I'm sure you've caught yourself saying, "I knew it, but I didn't do it" when your intuition was telling you something you didn't follow through with. In truth, we get messages through our intuition all of the time. It's important to start giving it the benefit of the doubt when we need it, otherwise we can end up in disastrous circumstances! This is the first thing I teach in the 6 Week Clarity Mentorship. I believe that without our intuition, we are like leaves being tossed around in the wind believing only in other people's perspectives on our lives. That is no way to live, and it's the fastest way to sabotage living in your life's purpose. Your intuition will tell you exactly where you need to go, how to handle situations, what to eat, who to associate with, what to quit, what to start, and will constantly leave clues if you are open and willing to see them. 

What does it feel like to be in tune with your intuition? Here are 5 clues that you are tapping into the right Source to make your decisions and create a better life.

1. You feel an overall sense of relief.
Most of us are searching for feelings of happiness. However, I  have learned through many trials and errors, that we should be chasing the feelings of relief. Whenever you course correct, or redirect yourself from going into the wrong direction, there is always a feeling of relief. Even if the direction you are heading doesn't make logical sense, there's a deep sense within you that you are no longer resisting the natural flow of your inner guidance. When trying to make a decision, which choice gives you an overall sense of relief? Go with that flow.

2. A certain situation or person simply just doesn't give you peace.
One of the biggest things we question is our discernment when we are right in front of someone who seems to be okay. There is no valid reason to not trust them, they are giving you every indication that they are legit, but something is moving within you and making you feel uncomfortable. We commonly trust what people show us above what our intuition is showing us. The same thing can be said for a seemingly harmless situation or environment. That unexplainable uneasy feeling means that you need to look further into things. Ask questions, investigate. Your intuition is needing you to uncover something or to simply trust it and leave with no further explanation. 

3. You feel inspired.
Another way of describing inspired is "In- Spirit." If you were to close your eyes and take some deep breaths and contemplate the situation, do you feel in spirit about it? Does the situation bring you a sense that a greater force is guiding you? Does the situation or person you are questioning encourage you to be a better person or give you more energy and drive? If so, you may be in the flow of inspiration and this is where your intuition will speak the loudest. 

4. The same message will repeat itself through different means.
Do you ever see a sequence of repetitive numbers? Or perhaps different people keep telling you the same thing? This is what I call "Outer Intuition." Sometimes our intuitive messages will seem to appear within the world around us and it is important to pay close attention, especially if the message has appeared more than a few times. If it is a cryptic message like a symbol or an animal that keeps showing up, feel free to use google or contact a spiritual adviser/mentor (like me) to help you gain insight.

5. Confidence and Courage. 
I love this duo. When you are in an intuitive flow, you will intrinsically feel confident and have the courage to make the changes or move forward, even if it is an unpopular choice among your friends. When you feel as though you are feeling an inner strength that is coming out of seemingly nowhere, you know you are in an intuitive flow and being guided in the right direction. 

These five points are just the tip of the iceberg. If you are wanting to really sharpen your ability to be led through life by your clear and precise intuition, please check out my 6 Week Clarity Mentorship. If you can learn how to navigate through feelings and emotions, and find the ones listed above, you will be assured that you are receiving Divine Guidance and headed towards your best outcome. 

Monday, October 8, 2018

Finally Addressing Doreen Virtue

I was sitting in a beautiful condo in the Colorado mountains this afternoon taking in all the splendors of Autumn when I received a DM from a client on Instagram. It was a screenshot of a post from Doreen Virtue. My heart dropped. I get messages like these every so often from people who seem confused by my previous mentor. Until now, I haven't said a thing. I stopped following her months ago. I made that decision in peace, deciding to honor her journey regardless of how odd it seemed to me at the time. Therefore until today, I have been unaware of how extreme her change has evolved. I feel it is time for me to say something publicly as I will most likely continue receiving messages and questions. 

For anyone who may not know who Doreen is, I would like to take this opportunity to honor the gigantic impact she made in my life. She was my mentor, teacher, and way shower for two decades. Throughout my 20's and 30's, I soaked in every book, deck of cards, and certification she delivered. Like many intuitives, she opened the door for me to accept my gifts and connect to God and the angels in very deep ways. She lived a life I aspired to live- a published author traveling to magical places around the globe spreading messages of peace, love, and compassion. When she wasn't traveling, she lived in Hawaii where she could swim with dolphins and meditate under gorgeous sunsets and full moons. Her example was monumental. With her career starting in the late 80's, she wrote a plethora of spiritually based books that covered subjects from health, relationships, addictions, and what she became most known for, angels. She provided the space for me to receive my own precious Divine guidance and I have never felt confused or detached from God and His angels since. I even acknowledged her in my own book, "What Would Angels Do?" While Doreen was traveling, teaching, and inspiring us, she was always very considerate of all faiths, remaining nondenominational, open, and loving towards all religions. I loved that about her because it helped me remain open and loving to all religions too!

Last year we all began to see changes in her. What we didn't know at first was that Doreen was leaving her lifetime of universal thinking and converting to a born again Christian faith that began limiting her ability to teach the way she had been teaching for so many years. When she first announced that she had given herself over to Jesus, I was curious. I personally love Christ and was hopeful she would somehow find a way to bridge the very open path she had been walking to this strict Christian faith. However as time went by, Doreen seemed only interested in preaching sermons from the bible. Her messages became stale, repetitive and like she was regurgitating someone elses words. As much as I wanted to remain hopeful, my heart broke with what she did next.

The video has since been taken down because it caused so much controversy and so many emotions worldwide. Doreen posted on her YouTube channel a very raw and matter-of-fact explanation that she was leaving her decades of work to follow the teachings of the bible. She proceeded to tell her millions of students to throw away her books, cards, and to now follow her into "righteousness." Many of us were horrified as we watched her glazed over eyes that once held so much compassion, and her stern mouth that once spoke with grace preach about the devil, condemnation, and how the bible is our only salvation. I watched her audience completely fall apart as she presented to us such an extreme and absolute opposite concept as if she were telling us how to bake a cake. Shortly after her conversion to Jesus, she lost thousands of followers, was fired from her publishing company, and had to flee her ranch in Hawaii because she could not pay for it anymore. She publicly addressed these losses as if she were a martyr and they were penance for her wicked ways as a new age author. Her posts and messages started to attack the very things that she had previously taught us, stating that she believed she was destined for hell until she converted. Is it any wonder why so many of her students felt mass confusion, judged, cast out, and deeply hurt by the very woman who once nurtured their universal spiritual growth? 

(See pictures below.) *Note the hashtag #exnewager 

As one of her biggest supporters, I would be lying if I didn't say that I cried a little during her transition. I felt bad for her family, friends, co-authors, and of course for those of us who unwaveringly supported her for much of our spiritual lives. My heart went out to Hay House, a publishing company that put her on the map as an author and mentor. I'm sure it was a hard decision to let go of one of their biggest stars shortly after their founder, Louise L Hay passed away. But one thing was constant through my mind and heart through the entire ordeal- she was the messenger, not the Source of the message. Like everyone, she is living a wondrous human experience that allows her the freedom to change. While I was watching many of her fans become angry, and even suicidal over her radical betrayal and attack on the very lifestyles she had helped us to create, something within me stayed calm, stable, and unmovable. Perhaps it is because I never made Doreen my guru. She never wanted us to. She was an imperfect person, who had channeled perfect messages. For that I will always be grateful. I love her books, I love her cards, I wouldn't dream of throwing them away. They are forever woven into the tapestry of my spiritual practice. However they are all just tools and bridges to the real thing- Love. 

When we feel Love from anyone's words; when someone writes a beautiful song, poem, book, or speaks from their heart, we must acknowledge that they are being a channel of Grace for us in that moment. In truth, we are always receiving Love from God and so when we use cards, crystals, or yes even the bible, we must remember that they are tools that help us connect to Love. It is not uncommon to confuse the message with the messenger. But when this happens, we need to take our power back. In fact, we need to take our power back from anyone we have given the ability to destroy us if they were to change. Because people change. The world changes. Hell, the bible has changed. However, Divine Love is constant, never ceasing, never changing, and the one thing I have learned to count on.
As I look at all of the beauty around me today, I take in a sweet breath of gratitude. I am grateful I am not trapped in a limited mindset that condemns anyone. I am grateful I feel deeply connected and loved by God. I am grateful that I have the freedom to look in the direction of the things I resonate with, and away from people who judge me. Friends, today is a beautiful day regardless of what Doreen Virtue or anyone else is posting. I recommend that you unfollow anyone who makes you feel unworthy of the Divine Love and Grace that is within you right now in this moment. Instead, stop- take in a lovely breath, smile, place your hands on your heart, and simply say, "thank you." Doreen Virtue inspired me to create the absolute kick ass, wonderful, magical life that I am living right now. We don't have to understand her or anyone's path, we only have to understand that we are all loved. So, my final take on the Doreen Virtue saga: I deeply appreciate her contribution. Everyone has a right to change. I honor her journey. I am at peace with my own journey. In the wise words of Louise L Hay, "No one can truly abandon me but me. I am always here for myself. All is well in my world today and always."

Thursday, October 4, 2018

It's My Birthday and I'm Not Sorry

Years ago, I was sitting at a table with a group of women when I announced "When I am 40, I will have the best body I've ever had." The blank stares prompted me to follow up by saying, "Well just look at Madonna and Demi Moore, so many women look better as they age."
One woman took a long sip of her cola and said with as much understanding as she could muster, "Well of course they look like that, they have private chefs and personal trainers show up at their homes. It's easier for them. It's unrealistic for us." 
I felt discouraged by her answer... that is until I realized it was her excuse and not my reality. And then I got to work.

Looking my best at 40 meant more to me than a surface deep beauty. I wanted to look good energetically too! I wanted to let go of the ugliness in my mind like obsessive worries, self doubt, and unresolved resentments. I wanted to let go of ugliness in my heart like past grievances, heartaches, and wounds. (All of that ugliness really can show up physically on your body and your face.) I wanted to explore being a dedicated lover to myself. I didn't want to let myself down anymore. I wanted to develop a self trust that had been broken by putting so many other peoples needs before mine and not standing up for my needs when I had the chance. I wanted to know how to honor my body's requirements to eat well, exercise, and be happy. It meant that I was going to have to do the work, rise above the excuses, and address my own fears of being a sexy middle aged woman. 

Yes, I have fears about looking good. Because whenever I shine, I risk being judged by other women and objectified by men. I risk not looking "spiritual" or worse, not taken seriously. It means that I might come across as self absorbed and a bad mother because I refuse to sport the "mom bod."


It's my birthday today and I am celebrating 41. Today, I choose to be single. I make my own money. I raise my own kids and I work my fucking ass off. I also play- a lot! I've made it my life's mission to be a light in this world by inspiring other women to live their truth by following their joy and I aspire to be a mentor for those who are also being called into a mystical union with God. How can I execute this mission if I cannot take the steps myself? So, for me this is what it looks like: I'm a wise, connected, deep, sexy ass woman who lives a co-created magical life. I'm not going to apologize for where my years of dedication, self development, healing, and holy union has led me. While I admittedly have regrets that have helped me to develop a deep sense of humility, compassion, and empathy, there are certain things I cannot be sorry about. Raising the beauty bar means that I allow myself to stand unapologetically as the woman I am today.


I'm not sorry if I have offended anyone with my forgiveness. Regardless of our current circumstances, you should know that I gave it over to God a long time ago. You're not a big deal to me anymore.
I'm not sorry to any man who has lost me. I'm not sorry for the way I loved you. I am not sorry for the woman I was while in your arms and I will never apologize for the lessons we learned together and after we parted ways. 
I'm not sorry to any former friend who couldn't handle me during my worst times. My life has been messy and if you aren't with me now, it's for the best and I honor your journey.
I'm not sorry if you don't understand me. I live in my own beautiful world that I worked very hard to create and it's good here. There are no walls, but there are pretty tight boundaries. I don't give myself away anymore and I am not sorry if you have been disappointed by expecting I would.
I'm not sorry for my sexy legs, strong arms, and tight abs. I celebrate what my body can do every day by being joyfully active and this is the result. 
I'm not sorry for my ridiculously grandiose smile, it's the sexiest curve on my body and it is put there by my Creator who gives me something to smile about every single day.

A year into my forties, I can honestly say that not only do I have the best body I've ever had, I have the best mind I've ever had. I have the best connection to my Creator that I've ever had. How I currently live is a result of falling in love with my life and I fall in love with my life more and more with each step I take towards healing it. In the wise words of Elsie de Wolfe, "I am going to make everything around me beautiful- that will be my life." Today I raise my glass to those of you who also live unapologetically to your highest standards and who have decided to rise above the ugliness of inauthenticity and negativity. Cheers to those of us who are brave enough to look our wounds straight in the face and do whatever it takes to heal so that our light can shine through. Shine on my loves. You deserve every bit of sparkle you have fought for. Wherever you are on your journey, I bow to you, I honor you, and I am cheering you on from the sidelines. Don't give up. Don't give in. Continue to create the beautiful life you are destined to live. 

Music that may or may not have inspired this post:
Human Nature (I'm not sorry)- Madonna
Unapologetic Bitch- Madonna 
Photo credit: Sir Anthony Photography 

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

The Essential Sacred Space

This is taught extensively in my 6 Week Clarity Mentorship. Drawing boundaries to the world and creating a quiet sanctuary is a must when it comes to practicing your spiritual gifts. You need to have a specific space that is peaceful and promotes communication between you and your Creator. A place of solace, away from the noise and trash frequencies. I teach the modern mystics who go through my mentorship how to create a vortex of energy that heals and provides a clear, open, safe space to receive Divine Guidance.

The next Level 1 Mentorship begins November 4th. Are you ready to walk deeper into mysticism?

Monday, October 1, 2018

A Dedication To Happiness

Do you know how to summon the feeling of happiness...out of thin air? Can you close your eyes, breathe, smile and just feeeel into it? This is a practice of the Modern Mystic. You can exercise the ability to summon happiness throughout the day by putting on the right song, spending time in nature, reading uplifting/funny content, or by simply letting yourself do anything that makes you happy. It is an emotion that can serve as a compass in your life; guiding you into synchronicity and setting you on the best life path. Sure there are some things we must do that don't necessarily make us deeply happy like certain mundane tasks at work, or having a tough conversation with someone. However, when you are dedicated to happiness, you can summon a general feeling of happiness throughout the day. Then, those tasks won't throw off your groove so easily. The more dedicated you are to feeling good, the more graceful your day will flow... as if by magic. You can follow the feelings of happiness throughout your day, week, month, and before you know it, POOF! A happy life is destined to be yours.