Fighting The Monster

Picture this- you enter your pet into a fun race through a maze. All of the pets receive their favorite treat when they complete the maze. You’re so excited for your pet to have a good time with all of the other pets, and he is happy, confident and ready.  The race begins and all of the pets scatter in different directions, running into dead ends, turning around, finding different doorways that lead to their opportunity to win. You think your pet is doing great, and you are enjoying the game until all of the sudden, your pet begins to show signs of stress because he’s run into a few dead ends and now feels turned around.  From your perspective looking down into the maze, you can see that he is very close to finding his treat.  You try to cheer him on, but out of nowhere a monster appears and begins to scare him into a corner. The monster is telling your pet all sorts of lies about the maze- that he’s too far off course, that others have already won, that he will be the last one and that he should feel hopeless and ashamed for how poorly he is doing. You watch your pet try to hide himself so that the other pets can’t see him. You wish he would just keep going, he’s almost there, you try to yell advice and cheer him on. But you see, the monster has him in his clutches and this is not a fun game anymore.  How are you feeling while reading this?  Probably very similar to how your loved ones feel when they watch you shrink away from your goals and dreams every time your monster appears.

This monster is the fear of failure, and it waits at the dead ends for us. How many of us have run into dead ends and believed it was failure?  How many of us are hiding in corners instead of continuing forward with our goals because we are too afraid to fail? How many of us believe the monster’s lies? 

The Monsters job is to scare you away from everything you want by making failure out to be something it’s not. He will scare you with your image, with other people’s judgments, perfectionism, fear of acceptance, and whatever he can possibly use to get you to stay hidden. How do we fight this monster? We must redefine failure.  

Failure is not the enemy. Failing creates humility and you then become teachable.  How can you be lead through the maze when you think you know everything? Think about the scenario with your pet, if your pet thought he knew everything, he wouldn’t be listening to your guidance to get him through the maze. He would run into WAY more dead ends without someone on the outside cheering him on. You are the same way. When you run into a dead end, this is not failure. Failure is impossible.  The end of the maze is there! When you run into a dead end, it’s time to get quiet and listen for guidance.

That is what failure means. It means that it is time to get quiet.

Dead ends feel horrible and we try everything to run out of them fast. However, in my experience, it is when you can sit still in the face of a dead end. Fight the monster that wants you to be anxious.  Fight the monster that wants you to quit, compare, and complain. Your power is in the stillness.  When you are listening to what the monster says, you’re not getting guidance on how to finish the maze.

Most successful people will tell you that the best thing that happened to them was to fail because it was then they were realigned to their purpose.  Dead ends simply mean that it is time to be redirected. They do not mean anything that the monster is telling you.

Here’s the truth. When you set out to accomplish a goal, you begin the maze. You will inevitably run into dead ends and feel like you’re failing.  But if you’re not running into dead ends, you’re not moving towards your goal.  When you’re not running into dead ends, you’re hiding. You’re not really putting yourself out there, you’re not really going for your dreams, and you have quit. Failure means you’re moving, pushing, working, risking, and accomplishing the maze.

I want you to think of someone you admire, someone you see as successful, perhaps a mentor or someone who is where you’d like to be. Do you know what kinds of setbacks they had? Do you know about their failures? If not, you need to find out.  Nobody gets through the maze without facing a monster or two, and if you’re backed into a corner with your monster, it’s time to start fighting back!

Fighting the monster: Sit, listen, and be redirected, be realigned. It’s that simple.  Don’t freak out, figure it out. Make a new game plan, get CLEAR, then and only then take massive action to get through the rest of your maze.

All monsters are like the monsters in our closets as kids.  Your ability to sit still and get insight and a new idea is like turning on the light and realizing there really wasn’t a monster after all.  Just crazy shadows that never truly existed.  And perhaps the prize at the end of the maze isn’t really the “prize”.  Perhaps it’s realizing that there was never and will never be anything to be afraid of.  Perhaps it’s all about the journey through the maze. 

So, lets continue on with our pet scenario and give it a happy ending. Your pet finally stops and perks up his ears to your voice. You begin giving him clear and direct guidance on how to get through the maze. He sits still and listens carefully and thankfully to your instructions. As he does this, the monster begins to shrink away. When your pet feels that he knows the next step, he starts into the maze again. With each twist and turn he becomes more confident.  This time when he runs into a dead end, he knows what to do. He sits still and waits for your instruction.  The game becomes fun again, people are cheering him on. You feel the pride and excitement in your heart as your pet triumphantly finds the end and enjoys his favorite treat. He is a better pet now than he was before he began, and you are both grateful for the entire experience… even for the monster.

Of course the power in your process is how CLEAR you can get in your stillness.  You can live a life of grace and ease when you make powerful decisions based on CLARITY.

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