Coming Home Was The Best Thing

There is literally no reason why I got this job. On paper, I am not qualified, experienced, or even educated. Never before in my life have I been so aware of God’s power. I am seeing an explosion of His influence in this world like never before and it is wildly apparent to me that He is my boss, He hired me, and He will ensure I am taken care of. God has the final say, and when he does no man can argue.

God, I know you have a great plan for my life- you are directing my steps. I don’t understand your ways, but I know that you are working out every detail and every factor in my favor. Even though I cannot grasp exactly what you are doing, it feels like you’re moving mountains for me and this leaves me feeling humbled at your feet. And I know you don’t want me at your feet- you want me in your arms, at your chest, by your side. It’s just that here in my blind humanness, I can’t help but to want to worship you every second of the day for what you’re doing for me. I can’t thank you enough, God. Coming home to you was the best thing I ever did.

Just For Today

No matter what, I will never prefer the company of concrete walls and sad little cubicles over the sunshine that streams into my kitchen window warming my sleeping kitty. But just for today, I can open the blinds a little and watch the dust particles dance in front of me like fireflies and the fae. 

First Day Of Work- The Spider Story

My intention is to bring you the inside scoop and behind the scenes of what it’s like to be a modern mystic in the corporate world. Many of you will relate to my stories, a few of you will learn something, and some of you might just be entertained.  No matter why you read this blog, you are sure to get the real run down on what it's like to live a magical life in a mundane world.

On my first day of work as an undercover mystic pretending to be a corporate sales woman, I was just sitting down to attend my first official meeting when the secretary of the office let out a deathly scream. Everyone jumped up and ran to see what happened. There she stood shaken and flustered pointing down at a huge spider. People began entertaining their own reactions moving about to save the situation, but for me time stood completely still. Everyone around me faded away and I cocked my head to the side to meet the spiders gaze. In our own little silent conversation, I understood this beautiful creature to be a weaver of destiny and dreams. An artist of silk and satin so fine that no human machine could ever mimic. I felt her creative juices, her strength to survive. I sensed the killer in her- to feed and sustain herself. I felt pride swell up in my heart as she knew her superiority over us when it came to artistic endeavors and survival. This private conversation was interrupted by the jolting realization that someone was about to end her life.

“Stop!” I yelled. “Stop what you are doing.” My eyes shifted from the spider to a man holding a rolled up file folder- his weapon of choice. He froze, stunned by the queenly tone in my voice. I moved gracefully to sweetly pick the spider up into my bare hands. Her body felt completely foreign to my skin. It was both exciting and exhilarating.

“Everything is okay, I’ve got you now.” I whispered reverently to the spider who stood still and trusting in the palm of my hand. I glided out of the office and into the fresh outside where I placed spider into nearby grass. We nodded and then I got up to return.

It was only then when I realized the scene I had made. I looked down at the ground in embarrassment, realizing that people outside of my world simply do not act that way. I took in a deep breath and made my way back inside, ready to explain myself- but not before catching a glimpse of my reflection in the glass doors that brought me back inside. I hesitated as my reflection showed a corporate woman in a dark pant suit, hair tied up in a bun, heels on point. I felt a tug at my heart for the days of sexy sleeveless shirts and braids. This will take some getting used to- I told myself.

Everyone had gone back to their business by the time I made my way back into the office. Everyone that is, except for the secretary who glared hot hellish eyes at me. I couldn’t help but to smile at her- she kind of looked a little witchy.

Nothing more was said, at least not to my face, which put me at ease. It was hard enough being the new girl, and being new to this world. Having to explain myself would be grueling.

The next morning as I was walking into the building, something shiny caught my attention in the bush near the entrance. I walked over to investigate. What I saw took my breath away. It was the absolute most gorgeous spider web I had ever seen adorned with morning dew the shined like diamonds! And right off to the side of her masterpiece stood proudly the spider I had saved. 

“You must know that diamonds are a girls best friend.” I said receiving her gift. I turned to walk inside and just for a moment my reflection showed my long wild hair and bare feet.

It will take some time getting used to this new life. It’s a different kind of jungle, with different predators. I am not surprised that my first friend is an eight legged artist and I’m delighted that magic has found me in the most unlikely of places. 

Why I stopped Eating Meat Again

My intention is to bring you the inside scoop and behind the scenes of what it’s like to be a modern mystic in the corporate world. Many of you will relate to my stories, a few of you will learn something, and some of you might just be entertained.  No matter why you read this blog, you are sure to get the real run down on what it's like to live a magical life in a mundane world.

Over a decade ago, I was guided to change my eating habits to a very clean, organic, vegetarian diet. One of the things I noticed right off the bat was how clear my mind became. In fact, I attribute my vegetarian lifestyle to helping my intuitive gifts expand and develop. What I know now is that people are more sensitive than they realize. When I’m doing readings, one of the most common requests from many of my client’s angels is to improve their diet, and sometimes they guide my clients to stop eating meat- even if it’s just for a period of time so that the body can detox and rid itself of animal byproduct, fat, and hormones.  This isn't such a crazy idea. Its common knowledge these days that we ingest way too many animals and not enough plants. Balance is often required if you want to stay healthy and have good energy.

For me personally, the decision to quit meat was not initially a benevolent one. I had a series of kidney stones and after some analysis; we determined that my body wasn’t breaking down protein very well. If you’ve ever had a kidney stone, you would know that if there’s any way not to ever go through the pain and agony of it again- you’ll do what ever it takes! So I stopped eating meat, started taking enzymes to help my body break down proteins, and opted for easy to digest proteins in plant based forms. I’ve never had a kidney stone since. 

Fast forward years later, I found myself in a relationship with someone who depended heavily on meat for their main source of protein and added to that, I was feeling burned out with my diet. I felt like it would be okay to start eating it again here and there sparingly.  Things were going great for me with my meat diet until I started this new job.

You see, until I started working in the corporate world, I was a stay at home entrepreneur. I wasn’t out among large groups of people very often, and so my sensitivity seemed less. I just wasn’t bumping up against much contrast in my life. However, now that I’m putting on the pant suits and having to deal with office politics, I feel more contrast than ever. In the first couple weeks at a new office, I found myself almost feeling hyper sensitive and I wondered if I would be able to really make it out in the “real world.”

After a long tear filled drive home one day, I got on my knees and prayed for guidance. The answer was short and to the point. “Stop eating meat.”

Right then, I was reminded of something that my mentor and teacher Doreen Virtue has taught over the years. When we eat meat, we ingest the animals energy. Most animals on their way to slaughter are filled with anxiety, fear, and helplessness. Being sensitive people- I truly believe this affects us. If you don’t believe me, stop eating it for a couple weeks and you’ll see what I mean about feeling more peaceful. Apparently, I was able to handle the animals energy when my life was slower and I was home not faced with daily stress. However, now I’m in a different lifestyle and it’s too much. Not only was I directed to stop eating meat, but I was also guided to stop indulging in other unhealthy foods. By the time I was done praying, I had a clear knowing about what I could do to decrease my stress levels. I put on my running shoes and jogged over to our little gym and gave myself a good sweat. Just working out gave me a great stress detox and I was ready to renew my eating habits.

It’s only been a week and a half of no meat and increasing healthy foods and I’m feeling SO MUCH BETTER! I seriously cannot believe the difference. In fact, I am so detached from the drama at work that it barely phases me at all. It’s like I have a new pep in my step and I am more confident than ever that I can do this job! I’ve kept up my cardio as much as possible, and have started doing yoga at night. It is literally a night and day difference.

I have to wonder how much of our daily stress has to do with what we are putting in our bodies.  If you’re reading this and wondering that same thing, I urge you to follow your own guidance to change your diet habits and see what happens. We all live in a stressful world. The answer to my prayer gave me the power to change what I can to reduce as much stress as possible. I think this makes the rest of the stress manageable. It’s really all we can do, right? We can change what we can so we can deal with what we can’t change. I can’t change the fact that I’m a sensitive person, or that my boss is being bullied by his boss and I feel his pain. I can’t change the fact that I choose to live with an open heart, and that a lot of people are rude to me when I’m trying to sell to them. God didn’t come down to change everybody’s world because I was uncomfortable; But He gave me the insight, strength, and courage to change it myself so that I can continue to learn and grow. That’s why I love Him. That’s why I love my relationship with Him, and that’s why I love being a modern mystic in this crazy world!

Until next week!   

A Corporate Mystic

For anyone on a spiritual path, the words "Mystic" and "Corporate" may not seem to mesh very well. Truthfully, as someone who has practiced a spiritual path for over 20 years (and I say "practice" with much emphasis), going into the corporate world seems about as sensible as selling solar powered flashlights to miners.

It's something I had to do though. Prayers don't necessarily pay bills. Neither do self published books and angel readings. I'm just being transparent here. Until my own personal brand takes off, I'm going to have to ditch the flowers in my hair, pull it up in a bun, and somehow relearn how to interact with the muggle world.

Was this an easy decision to make? Yes. The opportunity basically fell into my lap and I am grateful for it. In fact, I would say that the dynamics of the opportunity were indeed Divine. Was it a hard decision to make? Yes. I'd be lying if I said I haven't cried my way home from the office a few times.  Being a sensitive person, it's hard not to feel everyone's stress on top of my own. I'm not used to the politics. I miss my home office, my mornings with my pets, and I miss the ability to focus 100% on my life's purpose. Now I have a boss and it's weird. He's a super nice guy thank goodness. And I have a really fun team of coworkers who think my knowledge of astrology and angels is really cool. There are some definite perks to this new job besides the really great pay like the fact that I only really have to be in the office 2 days a week. It's an outside sales position and so I'm in charge of my schedule and my entrepreneurial spirit is definitely happy about that.

However today I sit here- only 30 days after being hired- in my own humanness feeling sad. I can't help but to wonder why the things I've worked so hard on over the years haven't taken off. For the first time in my life I'm starting to question if they ever will. Perhaps God is looking out for me by giving me this job. Or perhaps there is more for me to learn about this world that I so passionately want to help. Maybe I'm being called to be out in the corporate trenches to be an example of love and light in obscure places. I'd like to think that maybe all of those reasons are at play. But to be honest I don't know much right now. Hence the mystery of life that we all face, right?

Here's what's in it for you. I've decided that I'm going to give my blog some massive attention throughout my journey. I already have a few really good stories under my belt that I'm excited to share with you. If anything, perhaps my readers will begin to relate to me more as I- like so many of you- struggle with the balance of being a spiritual being in a not so spiritual world. Maybe watching me face the daily challenges with the willingness to stand in my truth will be inspiring. Or maybe watching me fall flat onto my socially awkward face will make you laugh. No matter how this plays out, I invite you to come along with me. I promise to be raw, honest, and continue to be transparent. Allow me to share with you this Corporate Mystics story as it unfolds....

Love Has Won

“Love has already won.

Fear is just being a sore loser.”

These are the exact words I heard yesterday while laying under the enormous pine trees in my favorite nearby park. I was trying to watch the rainy clouds float across the sky through my tear filled eyes. Moments earlier, I was t home sitting at my desk staring at my book on Amazon for the first time. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions I would feel once it was official. In fact, I was nowhere near prepared for the amount of fear, insecurity, and self beat up that accompanied my supposed glory moment. It was as if all of my fears had sat behind a mental wall just waiting for the perfect time to jump out and torment me. Up until that moment, I was beginning to think that those fears no longer existed. Oh but they are there alright. And the downward spiral I took upon their onslaught found me jumping up from my desk, finding my iPod, and walking to the park to somehow make sense of what I was thinking:

“The book isn’t perfect; there are mistakes all throughout it.” “No one is going to like it, it doesn’t make any sense.” “The introduction is too long; I’ve lost my audience within the first few pages.” “Who am I to write a book? I’m not important enough.” “What if I wrote something wrong? What if I wrote something that offends someone? What if it isn’t good enough? What if I’ve let the angels down? What if I’ve let myself down? What am I doing?”

This is the psychotic nature of fear. To you, I am sure none of the above statements make sense. But to the parts of me that still remain unhealed, they unfortunately made perfect sense. I found a lonely spot at the park, sat down on the moist grass, and began to pray. I breathed in and out deeply and allowed the emotions to surface and the tears to fall until they faded away. I understood that these fears were the result of my past that still remains wounded-The little girl inside of me who feels misunderstood, unheard, and unimportant. The teenager within me who feels abandoned, judged, and unworthy of anyone’s love. The young single mother who is still on her knees begging for God's approval. Yes, these wounds still arise after all of this time, and after all of my attempts to heal them completely. They still arise in times of big changes and leaps of faith. Once I realized where all of these fears were coming from, I knew what to do.

I listened to the small voice inside of me who was afraid of being judged and comforted her. I reassured the lost and lonely parts of myself. I reminded myself of the times I have felt God’s love, and the unbelievably strong supportive friends and loved ones who surround me today. I wondered as I gave myself the love I felt I was lacking, if it would always be like this. Do some wounds really heal or do we just get better at understanding and having compassion for ourselves? I decided it didn’t matter. The truth is that there are parts of me who are still scared and they cry for love when the fear gets to be too much. I’ve learned how to love myself during these times.

I laid down looking up to the sky, feeling better but very raw and vulnerable. Still breathing deeply, I closed my eyes and listened to the sweet familiar voice that was making it’s way through my ears and into my beating heart. “You’ve already done it, sweetheart. The book is done. It’s out there. Love has already won. Fear is just being a sore looser.”

“Thank you, angels,” I heard myself whisper back.

As a soft smile began to curl upon my face, an instrumental version of “Let it Be” began play through my ear buds. I silently sang along, “let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whispering words of wisdom let it be.”

Our fears do not come out to torment us. I am clear that they rise to be healed, to be loved, to be understood. For me, I just have to continue knowing who I am and Whos’ I am. I have to stay aware of who walks by my side. Love has already won. It’s just a matter of believing.

I am clear.

Why I Did It

I did it.

Three words I’ve been waiting 6 months to say! I can’t believe I did it, but I did it! I wrote a book and published it!!! If I can be perfectly honest with you, seeing the package on my doorstep today was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. And the feeling of carefully and reverently opening the package- as if there was a tiny sleeping baby inside- is a moment that will live in my heart forever. This has been a process that has changed me in ways I hope to relay to you in my upcoming blogs.

Speaking of blogging, I can’t wait to get back to it! I loved writing my Motivational Monday’s last year. To tell you the truth, I probably needed those blogs more than anyone. The winter was hard for me. I suffer with seasonal depression and really don’t do well in the cold darkness of winter. Getting up in the mornings was hard, but the motivational tips really helped me. This is just one of many reasons we have been working to move to Southern California. Now, as the sun has returned and spring has blossomed here in Utah, I feel my creative juices and cheerful energy return. Getting back to the grid and connecting to you is a pleasure that I look forward to.

Lately, I’ve felt a softening come over me when it comes to my writing, you may see a difference in my upcoming blogs. My second book (that I’m starting next month) will have a very feminine tone to it and so my writing will most likely reflect that. I’ll be picking a phrase such as “My world is a beautiful, safe place to live” and write about how implementing that mantra into your life is beneficial. I will include more personal stories and experiences and focus on connecting and having fun with you. It’s going to be great!

I’d really like to share a tender moment that happened after the initial excitement of holding my own book. I was sitting in my car and it was raining. I began to have a heartfelt conversation with the Archangels. I was telling them that I really hope I did a good job representing them in the book. I began to feel a little nervous about the content, and prayed that it was good enough. I find it interesting that throughout this whole process I have not been 100% clear on exactly why I wanted to write it. I had the idea in the middle of the night back in November. I immediately took action with the idea and it became my baby for the next 6 months. But my “why” hasn’t been a factor until today when I realized I had no idea why I did this. I didn’t write it to make money, or to become famous. I didn’t write it to preach my opinion on angels or any sort of dogma. I sat there dumbfounded that my reasoning was so hazy and in the confusion, insecurities and anxieties began to creep in.

Then all of the sudden my thoughts turned into memories. The past 20 years of wondering if they existed, searching for myself, for answers. The many times I felt touched by their presence, moments where their wings literally lifted me out of a certain hell. Memories flashed through my mind of times when I needed them and they were there- the holy moments of their undeniable presence guiding me, comforting me, nudging me to be better, stronger, and to open my heart. Moments of healing, letting go, growing, forgiving...they have always been there. Within this moment of remembrance, I felt tears begin to stream down my face, matching the rain outside and my “why” suddenly became crystal clear. I love the angels. I love them so much! Writing a book and spreading their wisdom and love to the world is only a small fraction of how I could possibly repay them for what they done for me. I wrote this book simply and sweetly because I love them. Love is my “why” and that is why I know you will be touched by the book. I know that somewhere inside of the pages, there will be a sentence, a paragraph, or maybe a chapter that will touch you because that is what love does.

May my love and devotion for the angels carry you through the pages of my book. May it carry my book far and wide. And may we all strive to know the angels, accept them into our lives, and be more like them. This is the world I am here to help create.

I am clear.

Stay tuned for my next blog coming soon!